Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Nakedness

I swear we don't walk around the house naked.

Well, not all the time.

Just kidding, but seriously, why does the 2 year old just want to skip clothes all together?

I get that we are trying to potty train. I really do. And I know all the books say its easier to not have bottoms on for a fast pull down when needed. But none of the books warned me that my child might get use to the nakedness and not ever want to put clothes on.

This was my problem this morning.

You see, Joshua's actual bedtime is 8 p.m., or it's suppose to be. After all the, "mommy I want milk", "I want a yunchble (lunchable)", and "I need a banana."... well his real bedtime is more like 9 thirtyish... it's ridiculous! Plain and simple.. ridiculous!

We have tried everything we can. But John and I get to the point that we are so tired and so frustrated, we have no idea what to do. It's a vicious cycle of him testing our limits every single night.

Then comes morning..

And little Joshua does NOT want to get up.. let me repeat... NOT want to get up. Yes, the kid will get up at 6 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday, so that mommy and daddy can't sleep in... but if it's a school day.. forget it!! He is 2 years old and already does this.. I'm scared. I see a fog horn in the future just to get him out of bed.

This morning.. like every other.. he doesn't want to get out of bed. We have our usual tug of war with the covers.... we have a tug of war trying to get our jammies off. Seriously... it's a freaking work out. I should be a lot skinner by the amount of sweat that comes off of me in the mornings fighting him.. but no.. my butt is still the same size.

Finally.. no clothes.. no over night diaper... nakedness...

Time for the clothes!

"I'm not wearing clothes!"

"You need to wear clothes."

"I can't like clothes!"

"Well, I can't like the fact that you don't want to put on clothes."


By this time.. I am trying to wrestle the clothes on him.. I get the socks on.. SCORE!!

No wait..

While I was getting the pull up ready, he took off the socks and threw them on the ground.

Sigh.. defeat.. but wait.. I have another plan.

"Ok, well I guess your going to have to go to school naked, is that what you want?"


"You want all your friends to see you naked?"


"Ok, fine by me."

At this point, I am packing everything in the car and getting ready to leave. Last thing to pack... the little boy.

I scoop up the butt naked boy and tell him we are going to the car. He says, "ok." I open the door to the freezing cold.. its 35 degrees outside. I take a step.. then two.. then I am getting to the end of our breezeway, where you can really feel the wind.

The neighbors are looking.. they are looking hard.. they are thinking that it's time to send me to the padded room.. I know they are judging, but my plan will work...


wait for it...



"I want pants."

"You do?"

"I want pants. I want my pants, and I want my jacket."


The nakedness has gone away and is now replaced by a pullup, wind pants, shirt, socks, shoes and jacket. No more nakedness!

The victory was mine, for today at least.. tomorrow is another day and another battle with the two year old.

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